Bathing in Ice

I recently described my last year (May 09-May 10) to my mom as feeling like someone threw me into an ice bath and said "K - enjoy your new life! See ya!" And I was left screaming "No - you don't understand, I am used to a WARM bath, not ice. Please - can you get me back to the warm bath?!" But nobody came.....and now I am sitting in a bath, where most of the ice has melted, but dang, it's still cold!! I have gotten used to being a wife, and MS and I are working hard on making our relationship what we both need it to be for one another; I am starting to get used to the idea of being a M-O-M; I think that we are almost all moved into our house; I am developing a comfortable routine with the Kait; and I am actually getting used to the drive into work. But I still can't help but feel like sometimes my life is completely out of control and overwhelming, which is something I am neither good at nor used to at this point. My life has been a constant work in progress the last year, and when I say WORK in progress I mean a daily choice to appreciate everything that the Lord has blessed me with in the last year, and to thank Him for choosing me to be a wife to my amazing husband and a mother to my wonderful daughter. And I can tell you truthfully, that every time I do give thanks, He melts a little more ice....

Back to the Beginning

MS and I went down to San Diego this last weekend, to the city where WE started. We left baby Kait with my parents and headed down on Friday night. First, let me say that it was very hard to leave the baby for a WHOLE weekend...I mean we both work full time, so our time with her is already limited, so the whole drive down we were talking about how guilty we felt for not being around for an entire weekend. BUT, I now know why so many couples have told us to do these things because they are as important to your family as being there for the birth of the child (yeah - like a MUST). After our lives had completely spun a 180 degrees a year ago, we were finally able to take a deep breath, look at each other, and say "Hey - WE DID IT, and...I love you more today than I did yesterday." The weekend was like taking a nice, cold, long drink of water after being in a desert for 8 months - it was essential to my well-being, my marriage, and my ability to continue on and be the mom I want to be.

We got to our hotel at around 11:00 at night on Friday (we stayed at a great hotel on the water that our friend got us an AMAZING deal on!), we were tired from working all week, and driving down, but we looked at each other and said, "Hey - we can do WHATEVER we want right now!" and so we did! We drove around and went to Hillcrest to where there was some karokee going on, and we stayed there and people watched and laughed at others expense until around 3 in the morning. By that time, we were hungry and we decided to stop by our favorite late-night Chinese place and didn't get back to the hotel until about 4am. We woke up around 9 the next morning, and I went to breakfast with some good college friends, and Scott met up with his buddy to play some basketball on the beach. Having breakfast with these girls was like much needed therapy to me - they actually wanted to know what my life was like, and encouraged me and I was so greatful to catch up on their lives - these girls are my peeps - to the core - just amazing people. Later that day, we caught up with some of Scott's friends from back east and watched the Padres game in the 'all you can eat section'. So much fun...Padres lost, but I didn't care - just being at the game was fun. After the game, we went and walked downtown and we found a live jazz bar that we had gone to before and sat and watched this great band play. And on Sunday, we woke up late, went and ate some breakfast and then went and played 18 holes at Mission Bay Golf (well, Scott played and I drove the cart!). All in all, it was truly a great, relaxing and much needed vacation.