Sunday Reflections...on Monday

Over the last 10 months I have had to come to some realizations that my life has not turned out the way that I thought that it was. I was supposed to get married on August 1st, and then we were going to have an awesome married two-some life for a couple of years, buy a house, and then make some babies. Well - that didn't happen. I have had to deal with my emotions that I was doing it "all wrong", that the Lord was upset with me because I didn't do it right. There have been a range of emotions that went along with changing the date of our wedding (along with a lot of my visions of how my wedding was 'supposed to look like'), to having to tell parents, grandparents and friends that we were expecting before we were married, to being married and pregnant, to now having a beautiful baby girl. The Lord has spoken me through several people telling me to trust in Him, to come to Him in humbleness and brokenness and confess that I did not do it right but that I (as well as baby Webber) were in His hands. Then finally, when I was about 32 weeks pregnant, I was crying out to Him in the bathtub in complete brokenness, sobbed at what my life was, I was able to let it go. Lift my situation up to Him, and actually then several weeks later, I finally forgave myself and accepted my situation. I know that He has my life all in His hands, and He has a plan for my babe. I am coming to this realization: I have always believed IN God - but now I want to simply believe God. Believe that His plan IS perfect in every way, that His way is the ONLY way, and He will only give to me what I can handle. His will is perfect. Faith is a living trust and whole-hearted reliance upon God for our very hope and life. And THANK GOD for that.